Poisoned Existence

I ​lay there on my bed,

Staring at the ceiling in complete silence,

But within my head,

It was complete chaos.

And the chaos was all about you.

Pieces of me fought against each other,

And it was all for you.

“Let go!” said the brain,

“Hold on!” said the heart.

While I sat there,

Lost in an endless sea of confusion,

I got engulfed in yet another wave of chaos.

Chaos for the first time felt beautiful to me.

You were like a drug to me,

And you poisoned my existence in the most beautiful way possible.

This left me thinking about you,

And only you,

All the time.

My little world was filled with you,

In fact you were the only thing that existed in my world.

I was afraid to stay,

But I was also afraid to leave.

I found 99 reasons to leave,

But the one reason that you gave to make me stay,

Was everything that I’ve ever wanted to hear from you.

And that one reason,

Was love.

But I’m glad you made me stay……

Coz if not for you,

My existence would still have been poisoned,

But in a way,

That I wouldn’t have known what it felt like to be alive.

All I would have known to do,

Was exist.

Daddy Dearest

​When a mother carries you in her womb for nine months,

A father is a person who carries you in his heart forever.

The joy the father experiences when his child gently kicks him on his chest with her tiny feet,

Is beyond explanation.

He takes pride in carrying her around on his shoulders.

She makes him proud in all that she does.

He admires her innocence,

And his love for her is everlasting.

The bond shared between them is very special.

Her father is very dear to her,

And close to her heart.

He is her best friend,

Her pillar of support,

Her secret keeper,

Her philosopher,

Her inspiration,

Her shoulder to lean on to,

Her comforter,

Her mentor,

Her counselor,

And her role model.

Her idea of a man,

Is the person she sees her dad to be.

Dads are superheroes!

They juggle between so many problems on a daily basis,

Be it at work,

Or at home,

And still provide us with all that we need.

Switching between ‘the happy go lucky’ to the responsible attitude is something they excel at.

They accept life with all its problems,

And make it perfect at the end of the day.

Their ‘bring it on’ attitude when it comes to resolving a problem inspires us.

The man of her dreams is completely based on the character of her dad.

If not for them,

Our lives would have been a complete mess,

And if not for them,

Our life is meaningless.

First Love

​Love by itself is a very special concept in everyone’s life,

And first love is needless to say.

It is the most special feeling to a person,

And if the love is mutual,

It is the best thing ever.

Everyone wants to love,

And be loved.

Love is a happy feeling,

And it cannot be described.

It has the power to ease all pain,

And relieve all stress.

Love can conquer all!

My first love was indeed very close to my heart.

We were childhood sweethearts,

Which slowly became high school sweethearts.

We were madly in love.

We were literally addicted to each other,

And were rarely seen without the other person.

The sense of belonging was a wonderful feeling.

We were proud of each other’s success,

But failure did not disappoint us,

It merely served as a motivation.

We stood by each other through thick and thin,

And always encouraged the other person.

We finished school,

Then college,

And finally even got a job.

Work was hectic,

And both of us were busy.

We did not have time to spend together,

Like we did before.

But our love remained the same,

Unaltered.

Finally the magical moment arrived.

He proposed to me in front of our family and friends,

Which was his little surprise for me.

And of course I said yes!

We were happy,

So were our friends,

And family.

I couldn’t believe that all of them got together,

And co-operated with him to make this moment special for us.

I was deeply touched.

We got married in a beautiful ceremony,

With our family and friends.

And there began our life together.

A lot of people say that first love is an immature decision,

And it won’t last long.

But it is actually the way you see it.

If you choose to make it work out,

And give it your all,

It definitely will.

Everyone has a first love,

But making that first love last forever is not everyone’s piece of cake.

Just The Way You Are

We live in a world made up of expectations,

We are slaves to the expectations of the people around us.

You are expected to look perfect,

Have perfect grades,

Have perfect behaviour,

And be perfect at everything you do.

Mediocre is not accepted here.

There is no place for that curvy girl with a beautiful heart,

Cause looks are what impress people.

No place here for that boy who is an aspiring dancer with average grades,

Cause who cares about your passion anyway,

Good grades is the only thing that matters.

There is absolutely no place here for that crazy girl with a wild soul,

Cause wild is taboo,

And a tamed soul is what is accepted.

If one of these people sound like you,

This is not the place for you.

We are expected to fulfill the expectations of others,

But our own dreams?

Nobody cares.

We’re all losing bits and pieces of ourselves,

In this rat race of fulfilling another’s expectations.

And eventually,

There is nothing left of the real you.

Your true essence is long gone.

Is that who you want to be?

A mere illusion of all their expectations.

I’d ask you to be yourself ,

And stand up for who you are.

But here I am struggling to find my own identity.

But that doesn’t stop me from fighting to be the person I believe I am.

Change is good,

But not if you lose yourself in the process of pleasing everyone else.

The skeletal remains of the old you rattles somewhere deep inside that old closet.

Begin your search,

And find yourself.

Cause you are beautiful,

Just the way you are.

A Heartfelt Confession

My heart skipped a beat at the sound of his voice,

And when it was combined with my name,

There was no better feeling than that.

Each time I saw him,

I blushed a little more,

And smiled a little wider.

It was so evident,

That even I could feel the burning in my cheeks.

Even just the sound of his name,

Sent butterflies fluttering excitedly in the hollow of my stomach.

I just couldn’t bring myself to look into his eyes……

They seemed to hypnotize me,

And I felt lost in them,

There was so much to explore in them,

And so much more to understand.

 But now I could see beyond that too,

The sorrow,

The pain,

The confusion,

The struggle,

The sacrifice,

And the fire to achieve.

All these things which he has been hiding from the world,

Is a part of him which he has now unveiled to me.

He was one of the strongest people I have ever known,

And I’ve seen him grow up tremendously as a person,

While he also helped me grow up as an individual.

I have loved him ever since the first time we met,

But was afraid to admit it even to myself.

Afraid of getting hurt,

But he has taught me that getting hurt is a part of growing up,

It is a part of becoming stronger,

And most importantly,

A part of becoming me.

I’ve also learnt to fight a little harder,

Laugh a little louder,

Smile a little wider,

And live a little happier.

He always wore a smile on his face,

Irrespective of how fierce the battle on his insides was.

He believed in himself,

And encouraged me to push myself harder.

The confidence with which he faced life and all its challenges,

Has definitely inspired me.

He knew his strengths and weaknesses,

But he never let his weakness put him down,

He never let it over power his strengths.

And he was my biggest strength,

My source of encouragement.

I could see the responsibilities that lay ahead of him,

I would never stand in his way,

I would never hinder his responsibilities.

I will push him to reach his goals,

And fulfill his responsibilities.

Coz now,

They weren’t his alone,

They were ours.

Our Little Forever

​She was my most prized possession.

I loved her immensely,

With all my heart,

And all my soul.

We got to know each other through a mutual friend,

And in the very first sight I was head over heels in love with her.

She had an aura of joy around her,

And a very contagious smile.

Both of which she carried around with her under all circumstances,

That it became a part of her.

This drew a lot of people to her.

She had a very persistent character,

And never gave up.

She was a woman of strong will.

Her eyes were beautiful,

And her soul magical.

It was something I couldn’t get enough of,

And I couldn’t take my eyes off her.

I wanted her to be mine,

But I didn’t have the courage to ask her……

I gathered all my courage and went up to her,

To confess my love for her.

To my surprise,

She took it in good spirits,

And said that she too had to confess something to me.

She told me that she too loved me,

But was being diagnosed with cancer,

And she didn’t know how much time she had left here.

This literally tore me apart.

Why was this happening to her?

She was such a wonderful person!

And she never let her problems get in her way of helping others.

In spite of knowing that she was going to die,

She was so happy.

She stood face to face with death,

And it did not scare her.

I decided to make the best of her little time left here.

I wanted to make her feel special,

And lead a normal life like all the other women out there.

So I told her that I loved her in spite of it all,

And I wanted to marry her.

I wasn’t doing this out of pity,

But for the love I had for her.

She hesitated at first,

But agreed later.

We got married with the prayers and blessings of our loved ones.

We had a lovely time together,

The result of which was our beautiful baby girl.

And then the struggle began.

Her cancer got worse,

As it sucked the life out of her bit by bit.

I couldn’t see her like this,

But she suffered in silence.

And finally peace came to her,

As her soul departed us.

But she continues to live in our hearts,

And the hearts of many others.

I was left shattered,

With our beautiful angel she left behind for me.

I had to look after her,

And give her all the love in the world.

She was my only belonging now,

The only memory of my beloved,

And the reason why i’m still alive.

We knew we didn’t have a forever together,

But the little time we had together felt infinite.

It was our little forever.

A Dream Come True

I woke up to the bright sunlight streaming in through the windows,
I slowly sat up,

And looked around.

Immediately the previous days events came rushing into my thoughts.

We had a lot of plans for the day.

He was supposed to come home and pick me up in the morning,

And we were going to spend the entire day together.

This was something I was really looking forward to.

But he called me up to tell me that he couldn’t make it,

And I was highly disappointed.

So I decided to go some place,

And not stay home alone.

So I went over to my best friend’s place,

And fortunately she was at home.

We spent the morning together watching a movie,

And had lunch outside.

We sat in her house reviving childhood memories and school days.

It was time for me to leave,

But she said she’d accompany me home to meet my parents.

So both of us left to my house on our respective vehicles.

She stood behind me as I unlocked the door.

The minute I stepped in,

The lights went on and everyone yelled “Surprise!”.

All my friends and his friends were here,

And so was our family.

I just stood there in awe,

As my best friend walked past me to join them,

And she grinned at me.

He stood there looking at me,

With a victorious smile.

I walked towards them,

And looked around the house.

It was beautifully decorated with flowers and balloons.

My favorite song played in the back drop,

As they held the words “WILL YOU MARRY ME?” for him.

He stepped forward still smiling,

Went down on one knee,

Held a ring out for me,
And asked me if I would be his.

I said yes as tears of joy rolled down my cheeks.

We hugged and I smiled at the others blinking back tears.

He wiped my tears and pulled me forward,

And took me to a table decorated with candles and gifts.

It had a cake in between which read “Happy Birthday Love!”

“This is my birthday gift for you……”,

He whispered in my ear,

As I hugged him once again.

The rest of the evening was a buzz.

It was the most amazing birthday anyone could ask for.

Waking up to this beautiful memory made me smile.

I looked down at my ring,

And kissed it.

I felt like the luckiest girl in existence.

I had a wonderful future ahead of me,

With the most amazing guy on the planet,

The love of my life.

This life that lay ahead is definitely a dream come true.